We're off!

Finally, day of departure. After a whirlwind three days with the kids, we finally got packed -- my “big” bag (the world’s biggest rolling duffle) clocked in at 55 pounds. My carry-on (computer, adapters, et al) is 21 pounds. I’m already tired and we haven’t even left yet!

This morning I got up and made French toast for everybody -- we’re off to France, after all! Never mind that they wouldn’t know French toast from a Chinese fortune cookie. Then we spent the morning packing. If you read the first entry of this blog, some 79 days ago, you may well wonder how there could still be packing to do this morning. That makes two of us!

In the midst of this busy morning, Brad decided to remove not one -- but two -- wasps’ nests on our second and fourth floor balconies, after which he reported back to us that we could now go outdoors. He also provided today’s Bradism: “I sprayed the wasps with ant spray...so now they’re having an identity crisis.”

We’re waiting for our flight in the President’s Club where the bartender, whom I haven’t seen for a couple of years, said, “Rex! How good to see you!” That’s probably not a good sign -- especially when he followed it up with, “Have you put on a few pounds?” Apparently he had forgotten what a big tipper I can be!

The next entry will be from Geneva! (Unless I can become semi-coherent during our two-hour layover in Frankfurt.)

4 hours later, somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean...

It’s amazing how soundly one sleeps after only two vodka tonics, a glass of champagne, and two glasses of wine with dinner. Until your head decides to do pay-back, that is, and you become instantly awake, asking “what the...” Still, if I hadn’t just awakened, I wouldn’t realize how soundly everyone else around me is sleeping. I know this because of their happy snoring. Well, perhaps not happy as much as maniacal. Honestly, the guy across me is snoring so loudly I can’t hear the engine of the plane! If I didn’t need hydration so badly I’d be sorely tempted to throw this water on him. Still, it’s been a lovely flight (so far) and I like it that this seat has a regular power outlet. According to the “air show” on the screen before me, we are due to arrive in an hour and 45 minutes.

Oh. About the bartender in the President’s Club, mentioned a few paragraphs earlier: well, I guess I showed him! Since climbing on this aircraft, I’ve eaten a bowl of cashews, a smoked salmon appetizer, a beautiful fish called “roasted arctic char” with red onions, fingerling potatoes, red onions, fava beans, a dessert cheese plate featuring derby, Gruyére and Cambozola cheeses -- and breakfast is about to be served! I’ll show him “a few pounds!”

(My apologies to my friends at Weight Watchers. I may have eaten all my weekly points in one meal, but honestly I think you would have done the same thing. Besides, my first WW meeting in France isn’t until Tuesday -- which gives me a whole extra day to eat sensibly. Yeah, right.)