Dumb ass!

I awakened with a start last night and immediately thought “I’ve lost my hearing!” It was that quiet. I stared out the window, which was standing wide open, and tried to process, through the haze of sleep, why it was so quiet. I stared at the valley below us, bathed in moonlight and complete with the requisite church steeple, and realized it was simply an elegant -- and ultra-quiet -- night in the French countryside.

That all changed at 6 a.m. when some hot-dogging truck driver came barreling into the driveway below our window to deliver the morning croissants. Simultaneously the cows, all with big bells attached around their necks, went rambling out into the fields, clanging every step of the way.

Speaking of fields, I drove into a neighboring village yesterday to meet Brad for lunch and on my way out of Rencurel, I passed a donkey surrounded by a bunch of cows. The donkey was munching on the grass, but the cows were standing suspiciously still. I think they may be animatronic -- like the cows one might see at Disneyland if they had cows at Disneyland. (Surrounded by swarming animatronic flies?) Anyway, after lunch and on my way back into our village, I passed the same scene, except the cows had moved to a different location -- but the donkey was standing in exactly the same spot, prompting me to use a phrase I often use in the car, but never as appropriately as at that moment: “Dumb ass!”

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BTW, for all my WW friends -- you will be pleased to hear that I am conducting a big experiment on your behalf. (You’re welcome.) Instead of watching carefully what I eat, I am simply eating everything that is put before me. (A new WW program?) But, since we’re in France where the portions are considerably more moderate than at home, I am assuming I may still be losing weight. We’ll see on Monday night when I go to my next French WW meeting. In the meantime, croissants are mostly air, aren’t they? I’m assuming they’re only 1 point....:-)